LOVE. It is my response to everything and if you’ve known me for even a minute you know that. Some like to say that I am positive and happy and other lovely characteristics. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get sad, angry or at times even negative. And I have every right to be given the things that have happened to me in my life. But why I want to share this post with you today is no matter if you are happy or sad, positive or negative, your story is YOUR story. If you take anything away from what you are about to read is that YOU should be the one to tell your story. Otherwise someone else will try to tell your story and it will never be as accurate or indeed powerful than if it comes from YOU!
The impetus for this post actually came last week. It was the #telltheturththursday episode that I host on Snapchat and I decided to come on and share my story. I often opt not to post a truth to my story on Thursdays so I can watch and support all the others sharing. But I felt the need to post a series of video snaps in response to the recent positivity bashing by a well known social media influencer.
I could have said it was a cliche that someone negative would bash a positive person. Or reject the claim that the ruin of the world now rests in the hands of the “effing positive vibes” .people. But I’m not here to defend positivity. That would be a bit of an oxymoron. What I wanted to accomplish was two fold. First was to highlight the fact that the reality is, both negative and positive need each other.
If you think about it, look to the world for examples and you see it in light and shade, yin and yang as well as basic batteries. In fact the only way a battery operated gadget works is when the postive and negative go hand in hand!
It isn’t to say one is better than the other. But it’s the working together as a TEAM (together, everyone, achieves, more) for a common good. While I am a mostly positive person I’m not on a mission in life to convert anyone. In fact, personally I don’t consume things like Tony Robbins or any external motivator. I have nothing against them but my motivator is intrinsic. And as I said that is my purpose in life to spread LOVE.
While I have shared bits and pieces of my own story here on the blog, I don’t talk about it much on Snapchat. Not that I am hiding it, but when I am on snaps I am doing Woman Crush Wednesday cooking tutorials or Sunday Spotlight Snap Sista segments, going on Foodie Fieldtrip Fridays, etc. And sharing tragic stories of abuse and traumas takes time. As well, I have young people, children and teens, that are signed on to my snaps and often things I discuss on the blog such as abuse and molestation are sensitive for the young eyes watching snaps.
Because there are people who watch my snaps that might not read the blog and would see me upbeat, happy and “positive” I felt it was time to set the record straight. Notice I put positive in quotes because it isn’t a term I use or proclaim but is a term people might associate with me because of my disposition. And the reason I needed to set the record straight is that the recent spate of anti positivity rants pointed out that positive people are clueless about issues of meaning and significance in the world. That they don’t care about war and live in their own bubble.
Well, I don’t live in a bubble and am not out of touch with pain. I have experienced some of the deepest painful losses imaginable. But just because I was able to overcome my depression doesn’t mean that I can’t still relate or empathize. If anything I hope to inspire people that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just that everyone’s tunnels are different lengths. I have struggled with health issues, I have been poor and hungry. Indeed the most precious thing a young child has, their innocence, was taken from me. But through therapy and healing and LOVE I am here to be a living example of not only a survivor but a thriver. Finally, I do care about war. I live with it everyday as my only son is in the U.S military and currently deployed in the Middle East.
When I spoke to other “positive” types they felt the anti positivity bashing was personal as well. They started to withdraw from snapping anything that seemed silly or frivolous. The upshot is that some positive people were feeling censored and in a way bullied. And it was time someone stood up for positivity. Yet I wasn’t on my social media to do that. I was there to caution people from throwing judgments around about people you see in a two dimensional way. I realize human brains like to stereotype, it’s a time efficient way to categorize. But looking at me, a happy person, making a judgment that I “go on about light and love” and don’t care about real issues is not true. It isn’t my story, it is the story someone made up about me in their own minds to support their rant. So this is the other half of my reason for telling my truth last Thursday and taking to the blog today.
I urge you all to tell your story before someone else does. And whatever you choose to be, positive or negative, the world has room for each and everyone of us. But what the world needs is LOVE to help us live in harmony and strive for a better future for all of us. And bashing anyone for their perceived disposition doesn’t move us in that direction. It only pushes us away from each other. Just like the batteries when you switch them around and try to put them in wrong direction, they don’t work!
So the story that needs to be told is YOURS. Who is going to tell it? YOU or someone else using it for their own agenda?