Even though I am late to the social media game, I am making up for lost time. I have been blessed to make friends with folks from all walks of life, from all over the world and all different ages. Social media is a wonderful vehicle to spread some LOVE in this world!
Through Snapchat I met this awesome lady from California who goes by Mommarazzi. Love that! And I only have to see one of her snaps and I get a smile on my face. She has a little twinkle in her eye and always shares a different sort of spin on things. I can relate to her in many ways, one of which is she is a single mom of a son and daughter. It’s not an easy road I can attest to that. But when you read her LOVE story you will see she doesn’t moan about it, but gets on with it. She is a hard worker and a clear thinker and I have so much respect for her!
WHAT IS LOVE, AND AM I QUALIFIED TO ANSWER?
Love. Four simple letters. L.O.V.E. Who knew four letters could mean much to so many, yet so difficult to express over a blog? My career as a technician as taught me to dissect just about anything thrown my way, either literally or figuratively, and troubleshoot my way to an answer. So in order to write about such a subject, I want to break it down for you literally and figuratively.
Did you know Love is used mostly as a verb in the English language? It is because it is an action (Verb – To hold dear, to feel passion or tenderness). “I love your hat!” “I love that color on you!” “I love this song!” “I love brownies!” and of course, “I love you!”
When used as a noun, it takes on a different flavor. (Noun – offering your love to someone, giving assurance, or attraction based on sexual desire). “Give her my love!” “They are still very much in love.” “He has a deep love for baseball.” “The couple made love.”
Love is the 391st most used word in the English language (out of the first 5,000 words used). It was used in literature the most in 1810 and the least in 1976. (According to Google… which I LOVE to use). There are other meanings for the word Love (such as in tennis), but this blog will be about the noun and verb we all have grown to know and LOVE!
Last week, Karen (Yankee Doodle Paddy) asked me to be a guest blogger. I let her know I am the last person who could write about LOVE. I am a divorced, single mom of two school aged children. Who am I to accurately give “blogvice” on such a subject? She assured me it did not have to be the “romantic – verb” but what love meant to me. Wow, what love means to ME? Do people actually care? Am I qualified? She seemed to think so.
I was in love once (noun). Or so I thought. I checked the boxes in life. I found a man, married and had children. I was married to that same man for 20 years (best 6 months of my life! Haha). After 14 years of marriage, we had our first child. What love was to me before that day quickly was thrown out the window. My LOVE for her moved to near the top of my list, just below “the air I breathe.” When my son was born 3 years later, “air” almost took a back seat. Almost! Unfortunately, my ex had love affair with alcohol and drugs, one of my best friends, and porn. There was more, but that would require me writing a “hate” blog. Maybe that will be the theme in a later month this year! Hah!
My marriage failed soon after my son was born. I was left alone with two small children and completely lost who I was as a person, wife, and mother. I went through the motions, almost robotic, taking care of my family and house, always loving my kids, but neglecting the one person I should be loving, most. Myself. My “wasband” got the help HE needed to STOP loving the vices which tore us apart. Rehab taught him to put his recovery first… always. That was a hard pill (no pun intended) to swallow, seeing my kids no longer a part of his life in the capacity in which they needed a father.
Fortunately I have a supportive family, best friends who supply great advice (and vodka) and a great career which help keep food on the table. Time went on. Years and years of therapy, best friends, gallons of vodka and many (many!!) mistakes later, I managed to find love again. Not the love of another, but the love of SELF.
Looking back through my life, I don’t believe I ever loved myself. I never knew that was a box I needed to check. I always put everyone first. I was always someone’s sister, daughter, wife or mother, but never had my own identity. I “loved” my husband (using the term loosely), I always LOVED my kids (never a doubt – that was simple) but I never loved ME. Nope, never ever!
Re-growing up with my kids all these years without a man has been the greatest experience I could ever have asked for and I wouldn’t change a thing – EVEN IF I knew the outcome of my failed marriage and the years of pain that followed. Nope! I wouldn’t change one thing, because through the pain, the tears, mistakes and the fears, I learned HOW to love ME.
L.O.V.E. The simple, four-letter word that packs a punch. The word that can be a noun or a verb. The word that can mean so many things to so many people. But mostly I learned what it means to me. I LOVE, I am LOVED, and I will always LOVE. (Verb).
RoseAnne Sky – Poway, CA
snap chat @rorosky
Thank you RoRo for sharing your LOVE story. I know you were a bit reticent, but it means so much to me that you did it. Your ability to break it down for people in a unique way will help folks to gain further insight into love. Because while elusive, it’s there. On a personal level what you shared resonates so much with me. You are a survivor and a thriver! Total rock star material. And I agree, even knowing the outcome, to change anything would change the most precious gifts, the children! So it is what it is for a reason!
You and all the other incredible authors have literally made this the best February of my life. I hope you know that taking the time to write your love story and following through with a click of a button to send it to me has likely made an impact on many people besides myself. Those reading your words will be given unconscious permission to seek their love! Mostly I hope this has made an impact on YOU! Not only from sharing your story, but by being part of a group of 33 individuals speaking the universal language of LOVE! It’s a conversation that has only just started my friends! My heart is bursting with gratitude!