Bethany King, Guest Blogger #17, is an amazing friend of mine on Snapchat. She wanted to participate in the month of LOVE last year but they had a lot going on in their family with moving out of state. I was delighted she agreed to submit a story this year. She is a steady soul who always has thought provoking commentary on important issues and at the same time is the sweetest, smiliest and friendliest person you’d ever meet. So without further ado, it’s my honor to share her story….
“Every thought comes from fear or from love. Choose love.”
I’m Bethany, mom to two little kids: Alexander is 4, and Annabelle is 2.
Before Annabelle was born, I spent countless hours reading parenting books. I loved them. One in particular is called Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, and I have read it several times. It’s well worn, covered in pen marks and highlighted text. When I have something I’m struggling with, I go to that book before any others.
Although I’d read it twice already, when I read it for the 3rd time, that quote jumped out at me. Choose love.
It may be from a parenting book, but I think that phrase, that mindset, covers a multitude of relationships.
Consider social media. Click on nearly any post with more than a few comments, and you’ll see people disagreeing with each other. Sometimes those comments are civil, but many more times, people start to get nasty and defensive. We make assumptions: If they disagree with me, then they must not like me, or they think I’m an idiot. And we get defensive. (No one wants to be an idiot.)
Consider the checkout line at the grocery store. Someone in front of you has 125 coupons. You can’t change anything about the situation, except maybe changing to a different checkout line. But ultimately, no amount of huffing or puffing or getting frustrated is going to change what’s happening. Choose to show love and grace to that person. Whatever anxiety you might feel comes from fear. Fear of being late, stuck in traffic, disappointing someone.
Consider your spouse or relationship. When things don’t go as planned or when he/she pushes your buttons, you have the choice to act defensive and angry. There’s that fear deep down that your needs are not being heard or met, that when he does that one thing you’ve asked him not to do a million times, he’s doing it because he doesn’t actually care about you. Instead assume the best, that maybe he had a long day or is stressed about something. Choose to come at the situation from a position of love and not fear.
I get stressed out, worked up, frustrated about things that are solely in my head. I overthink and analyze situations that haven’t even happened (and most of the time, won’t ever happen!). For me, it’s a daily thing, to actively choose to respond out of love.
1 Corinthians 13 says that “love…is not easily angered… Love never fails.” So choose love.
Thank you Bethany for being such a great role model as a wife, mother, daughter, teacher, friend, Christian and all around great human being. You are the “go to” on social media as the voice of reason and it’s not a surprise. What a cool take on a love story, to focus on how we can choose it, even at what might seem like inopportune times. Which are probably the most important moments to do so.
Check out Bethany on her social media channels, especially if you are a mom of young kids. She has super creative ideas!