Because Guest Blogger Post #28 is so rich with wisdom and deep with thought, I won’t delay this intro. But let’s just say that Amaris pours her heart out in her LOVE story and you will want to soak it up!
TIME, LIFE, LOVE… all four-lettered words that have been pondered on since the beginning of time. Has there ever been a more significant muse than Love? Art in all forms are dedicated and devoted to it. The written word, music, lyric, pictures, paintings, sculptures, photographs. None can fully explain it, and yet all encompass it. Because love is not just one way. There is no right way to explain it because love is you and love is me. It comes in an innumerable amount of forms and relationships.
A year ago, February 15, 2017, my heart was broken. No, it was completely destroyed. It was ripped out with a spoon. Ground in a meat grinder, then the remains were ran through a finely tuned spiral shredder, then the pieces scooped and placed in boiling liquid until it was reduced and ultimately evaporated. Unexpectedly and out of the blue, I did not see it coming. We had not been fighting and there were no problems. We had been making plans for our next steps to move in together. I was going to be leaving America and moving to the United Kingdom and we would begin our lives together. I was in a fairy tale, finally! But then suddenly one day, my now ex decided they didn’t want this anymore, didn’t want us anymore. I was in shock and devastated doesn’t even begin to explain my physical and emotional being at the time. Whether they decided this out of fear or something else or both I may never know. But what I do know is I spent the rest of 2017 trying to understand and recover from that overwhelming heartbreak.
I am thankful that I had a ton of support from my friends, family and dearest loved ones. All of whom are probably pretty sick of hearing my ex’s name. They at times even wanted to throttle me to “wake me up” but all listened, cared and loved me through it. I can say thankfully that I am now on the upswing a year later, but it has not been an easy road. Love itself has not been an easy road for me. When I love, I love hard and unconditionally. I love with everything that is in me and I give my all. So of course, when love is lost, it can take a while to heal from it. To be honest I have a hard time letting go and it was even harder this time because I truly didn’t understand what happened and what I did wrong.
This is not necessarily a post about romantic love. This is about the love that is in all of us. No matter how destroyed and broken we can get. The universe, your higher power or God as I identify with, brings people in your life for reasons and some of them are for seasons. He does not give you the people that you want, He gives you the people that you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person that you were meant to be.
I now know that my relationship was meant to be a season. I know that I was used to teach my ex how to love for the first time in their life. One message to me from our time together is as follows “Have I told you today that I love you? That if anything happened to me, know that I love you like no other, and have actually felt true love for the first time in my life”. I treasure that because I know that God used me to open up a whole new world to my ex, to teach them how to love, connect with themselves and others on an emotional level. To feel passion and desire and so much more. Because of that I will always have a special place in my ex’s heart even if we never speak again.
Love is such a simple yet extremely powerful four-lettered word. It can make, change and shape lives. We are surrounded by love. Everywhere you look, seek and ye shall find. It’s in a smile from a stranger or a never-ending hug. It’s in Grandma’s cooking and swimming endlessly in your Momma’s eyes and felt with each attack of the Kissy Monster. It’s in every laugh shared and each new memory made with your best friend, cousin, sister, soul-mate or whatever she is. Laughing so hard for no apparent reason at all, laughing just because you are laughing.
It’s in long days outside playing, riding bikes and building forts with your little brother. It’s in the music you hear and the songs that you sing. It’s in giving rather than receiving. It’s in long talks and wisdom shared from your Aunt who has become your best friend and hero. It’s in family and friends you have known for years and rarely speak to, but when you do it is as if not a moment has passed. It’s in treasured old friends and new. It’s with those who have left us, we will see again one sweet day. It’s inside of you and in people and places you’d never expect and may not even know about.
There is no universal recipe that will give you a happily ever after. But I can say that what I have learned so far is that in order to have a happily ever after it is going to take work. It’s not a Disney fairytale where all you have to do is fortuitously meet your prince or princess, instantly fall in love and find your happily ever after. No, it takes work and commitment to that work. It’s an everyday decision and a lifetime of choices. Choices that say I love you more than I love me. It’s never falling out of love at the same time. It’s communication, about everything. Even the smallest things can be made into a mountain from a mole hill if you let it. Talk about it, talk about your hopes, dreams, plans, anger and fears.
“Happily ever after” is choosing this person to walk BESIDE you not in front or behind you. It’s facing life on life’s terms TOGETHER and daily. Not when it’s convenient. It’s daily deciding that today you still love this person and being thankful that today you get another chance to do it. To try to get it right. This person chose to be with you, they didn’t have to do that. They can choose to leave, and in today’s day and age, that is all too common the choice. There is something sacred about this choice. To look at someone and say yes, I want to be yours. I want to spend my days and nights with you. I want to walk through this journey of life with you, through the ups and the downs. The good and the bad times, I want to do it with you. Because no matter what life throws at us, I know that with you by my side we will get through it. There are going to be times when I need to be behind you or you need to be behind me, loving, encouraging, supporting and helping push me forward. But that is also a part of it. So long as it doesn’t remain that way and I am immediately by your side again.
I firmly believe that we all are in this journey called life together. Life is hard; no one EVER said it was going to be easy. And if you expect it to be you are disillusioned and should rethink your expectations. We are ALL here to support, encourage, to be kind and love each other. Each one of us is going through something that you know nothing about. So be kind and act out of love. Because love always wins. Something as simple as a smile could literally save someone’s life.
We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so live each moment like it’s your last. Understand that time is only borrowed. We are human and therefore not infallible. We won’t always get this right and when we don’t, try to be quick to forgive yourself and understand where you went wrong so that if/when you are faced with it again you can try to make a different choice and cause a different if not better outcome. That is what is so beautiful about the joy of tomorrow. Because we are not promised it, when we do get it, it is our chance to get it right. It is a completely new day, full of new hopes and dreams. It’s a new opportunity to fall in love all over again. Yesterday is gone; there is nothing you can do about it. You only have today and this moment. Seize it! Look at your loved ones and tell them you love them, what they mean to you and how important that they are.
Love is a beautiful gift, and believe it or not, there are some who have not experienced it. Count yourself fortunate if you have it. Don’t take it for granted. Love should be cherished and treasured and so should the heart that has been given to you filled with it. It can be renewed daily if you take the time and make the choice to do so. It doesn’t have to be grandiose; love is in the smallest of details and actions that you do for your loved one. It’s these small actions of love that will mean the most. That will help solidify a foundation upon which you build your happily ever after.
For me I live in love. The song by Garth Brooks called, If Tomorrow Never Comes is my mantra. I have lost so many dear loved ones due to numerous circumstances, I know that we are not guaranteed one more moment on this earth. I want those I love to know that they are loved, cherished and adored by me…Always.
Thank you my friend Amaris! How lucky am I that we finally got to meet in person just a few short weeks ago. What a powerful LOVE story with so many nuggets of wisdom. I think anyone reading this will take away some insight and inspiration of how to value and appreciate love. I am hopeful that in spite of your now mended broken heart, that you will continue to love. Because you know that the time to love is today. We can’t wait for tomorrow as we don’t know if tomorrow will come. So for this moment in TIME, in this LIFE, we will LOVE!